A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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