you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
