I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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