He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
