So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
