can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
