like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
