Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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