had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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