you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
