At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
