Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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