How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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