I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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