please come you make the beer taste better
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
