grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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