My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
