Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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