So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
