dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
