Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
