Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
