So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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