Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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