i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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