yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
