She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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