he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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