**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
