So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize