Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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