I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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