I want to have your abortion
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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