Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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