Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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