Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
