i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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