How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
