I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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