Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
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