Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
