i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
