what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
