i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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