Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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