He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
