It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
