me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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