Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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