Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
