I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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