She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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